Saturday, January 22, 2011
Life is bent on making itself as torturous for me as possible. I wonder why I'm so terribly afraid to offend people. Maybe it's just the way I don't want to have any enemies, to be able to live happily ever after. But I think the diplomatic way I talk, the indecisiveness (so that you can just do anything you want, which apparently doesn't work all the time), probably pisses people off. And ta-dah, I end up offending someone. And then I try to recover from my mistake, and let myself be bullied. What the heck, Wesley, what the heck.
It doesn't help that I'm too lazy to get angry. I'm out of practice too. All I'm good at is bottling all the annoyance, the angst, the anger, the hate, and let time destroy them slowly. Short-term memory helps too. It's like some catalyst to the reaction.
I tried stopping this escapism, but I can't. It's just not me to do it. Now that I'm being forced to, I wonder whether I'll break, or maybe I'll survive and become a better person. Hur hur. Even I think that sounds like crap.
Time to sleep all this nonsense away.
Wesley at
10:29 PM