Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A typical Wednesday for a typical student

Blehh. Today was another boring disgusting typical RI day. Got back our PR1. I wouldn't say I'd performed very well. I underperformed in EL, CL, MA, GE, BIO, SS. Now that's a lot. Therefore I'm only happy with physics and chem. Wow. My mum told me 'keep up the good work'. >.> See the difference in expectations? This is... Ugh.

And I wouldn't say the periods today were any fun. In any case, they were horribly boring. I think I just need chem. Chem just drives me crazy. Chem makes me hyper and hopping around. And French tomorrow. I'm so not looking forward to it. I'm so wanting to quit it. I'm so wondering why I chose to take it in the first place. Blah.

But then again. Are marks really all that matters? The only reason why I want to drop French is because it's making me not be able to cope with anything else which might somehow cause me to perform worse in other subjects and you get a 'vicious cycle of doing chem in philo class and philo in chem class'. I really dunno. I dont think I can take this anymore. It's driving me. Nuts.

And this really sad PR1 makes me wonder why we study. And that's what constitues the beliefs of the bottom 20% of RJC. They're suffering. So am I. We study to suffer. 'Students these days don't study to learn. They study for grades.' And I reflect, am I one of them? I can't say that I'm not. But look, grades now doesn't seem to matter anymore. Pass your philo, pass your english, pass your RE, you get promoted. And that's why we live to the end of the year. And then? What happens? Do these grades still matter. I doubt so.

Anyway, CCA was funny today. I decided to go teach the juniors how to play. And it's like that 'Once more to the Lake' ERP story thing. It's just. Freaky. I don't understand why the other people don't understand how the sec 1s feels. You play a song for 3 months. The same song. The whole ensemble can memorise the song. The whole ensemble knows how the song is played. And for 2 hours each week, you play the exact same thing, with no variation at all. 'I should have joined RV instead.' This comment from one of the sec 1s must have been good enough to show how boring it can get. At least main ensemble gives you more pieces to fool around with.

That sounds like a lot of rubbish I've just said. And then maybe tomorrow, I through all these again, and I'll get a different opinion. Sigh.

I'm tired of life.

Wesley at 9:35 PM